九点见 see you at 9

“I think of these songs as inviting friends to a home party or tea party, like we chat a lot. We tell stories, share joy or sadness or fantasy or just day dream together. We can dance, can sing, can chill, can do whatever we like. I feel like that’s the vibe. I want to make it intimate and personal Like a heart to heart” -Fanxi

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眼 glimpse

  • 幕布背后人很多
    听不清嘴里蹦出的字节
    视线也被腾腾的热气渲染得模糊
    抬头是纵横交错的电线和灯具
    耀眼得让人下意识移开目光
    于是我看到了你
    靠在出口的门上
  • 霓虹在摇晃
    眼神在流淌
    指尖很冰凉
    脸颊在发烫
  • 脑子嗡嗡不停响
    心脏砰砰要出场
    咬着嘴唇含着糖
    一簇电流往上闯
  • 玻璃泛着彩虹涟漪
    墙壁铺满草莓蜂蜜
    地板似水似雾柔软
    延展 牵你我手腕
  • 烟云追着你的痕迹
    人群来去不留缝隙
    空间失去平衡旋转
    时间也沦为迷幻
  • 好像掉进透明玻璃罐
    融进果酱分享温暖
    浮浮沉沉不需要靠岸
    一直一直一直贪玩
  • 不去想
    身边的慌忙
    不去想
    什么时候散场
  • 只顾听着心中烟花坠落 飞机飞过
    撩人月色藏着一颗流星闪烁 种满花的沙漠
    燃烧的火 点亮空无一直不曾灭过
  • 低头踱步思考渴望意义 抬头望去
    你翘着嘴角还站在原地
    一切声响突然变得清晰
    失去了慢镜 失去了游离
    播放的只有你的笑意
  • 玻璃泛着彩虹涟漪
    墙壁铺满草莓蜂蜜
    地板似水似雾柔软
    延展 牵你我手腕
  • 烟云追着你的痕迹
    人群来去不留缝隙
    空间失去平衡旋转
    时间也沦为迷幻
  • 好像掉进透明玻璃罐
    融进果酱分享温暖
    浮浮沉沉不需要靠岸
    一直一直一直贪玩
  • 不去想
    身边的慌忙
    不去想
    什么时候散场
  • there are lots of people behind the curtain
    can’t hear the words jumping out of mouths
    views, alike, are blurred by the heat and the steam
    looking up to see the crossing wires and lights
    so bright that they force me to move my eyes away
    then I see you
    leaning against the door at the exit
  • neon lights are swinging
    visions are flowing
    fingertips are freezing
    cheeks are blushing
  • the brain is buzzing like a machine
    the heart is pumping, ready to jump out and see
    while I’m biting my lips, chewing my candy
    the stream of electricity inside my body leaps
  • the glass, like a stream, refracts rainbow ripples
    the wall is painted with strawberry honey
    the floor is gentle and soft, like water, like mist
    always extending, holding your hand as well as mine
  • the smoke chases your shadows and traces
    crowds moving back and forth, leaving no breaches
    space loses its balance and starts rotating
    time descends into illusions
  • as if falling into a glass jar
    melting into the jam, sharing its lukewarm heat
    floating around, there’s no need to reach ashore
    all the while, clinging to the playfulness
  • don’t bother thinking - the busy around
    don’t bother thinking - when the show is ending
  • only have the time to hear fireworks falling, airplanes passing in my mind
    a meteor hidden in the gorgeous night, shining the desert full of flowers
    the flaming fire - lighting the void, never ends
  • lowering my head, thinking and yearning for some sort of meaning, looking up to see -
    that you’re standing still with a smile rested on your lips
    every kind of sound suddenly becomes clear
    leaving behind the slow motion, the dissociation
    the only thing playing now is your trace of smile

雨后 after the rain (interlude)

  • 石子路坑坑洼洼
    树林里的蝉鸣像电波叠加
    橙红光晕悄悄穿过枝桠
    躺上了鼻尖 藏进了头发
  • 路旁长椅 挂满鲜花和手帕
    字条信纸 在暴雨摧残后只留下
    模糊的字迹和无法传达的牵挂
    连掉落的树叶都在哀叹那不幸的生命啊
  • 转角又遇到分叉
    犹豫该冒险还是该听话
    可气压让身体停机检查
    怠惰肆意蔓延
    大脑也放弃挣扎
  • 于是 任由秋末的风唤起所有倦乏
    任由潮湿空气蒸发一切潇洒
    站在原地望着夕阳化成流沙
    太过嘈杂太多变化
    突然厘清纠缠不休的想法
  • 原来说好的也会放弃
    原来一直是我独自寻找意义
    原来我所以为的最佳默契也只是以为而已
    经不起风浪突袭
  • 忍不住回想共同拥有的过去
    记忆越鲜明越感觉喘不过气
    脑海循环播放断断续续的分歧
    突然明白看到的不是背弃
    而是不断变化的自己
  • 彼此错过的经历变成一层一层水泥
    砌在心房四壁抹去所有斑斓痕迹
    宇宙每颗恒星稍稍偏移
    总有蝴蝶效应瞬间改变相对关系
  • 其实 有些得失分离早已被来时之路确定
    烦闷痛苦失落绝望不是新鲜话题
    浮躁天气也是诱因之一
    所以 现在的你也不必 格外在意
  • the gravel path is pitted with potholes
    chirpings of cicadas in the forest sound like electric waves doubling up
    the orange halo quietly passes the tree branches
    resting on tip of the nose and hiding in the hair
  • flowers and handkerchiefs rest on a street bench
    notes and letters survive in a devastated storm
    with only blurry scripts and the affection that can never be delivered
    even the falling leaves are lamenting the unfortunate life
  • make a turn to meet a fork in the road
    hesitant about whether to take an adventure or to be obedient
    but the low pressure makes the body stop functioning and to be examined like a machine
    idleness starts indulgently spreading
    the brain also gives up struggling
  • just letting autumn wind wake the drowsiness
    letting the humid air evaporate the carelessness
    standing there, staring at the sunset turning into quicksand
    too much chaos, too many changes
    the thought that keeps bothering suddenly gets straighten up
  • so whatever has been promised will be given up
    so it has only been me that is searching for some meanings
    so the “best chemistry” I thought is so vulnerable that -
    it cannot endure any hindrance
  • can’t help recalling the past we shared
    the fresher the memory is, the harder to breathe
    the difference and disputes happening on and off are looping in my brain
    It comes to my mind abruptly that what is happening now is not betrayal -
    but my self-evolving
  • we’ve missed each other’s experience - and it’s turning into layers and layers of concrete
    it’s paved on the walls of hearts, covering all the colorful traces
    every time a star in the galaxy deviates a little
    the butterfly effect immediately changes the relativity
  • honestly, the gains and loss, reunions and separations are destined by our past
    the anguish, suffering, despair, and desperation are never new topics
    the irritating weather is also one of the predisposition
    so, just don’t worry too much about it right now

海平线 horizon (moody stressed blessed)

  • 坐在凝固的时间
    挂满疲惫的眉眼
    脑海里剧本过了好多遍
    没心思表演
  • 月光死在了窗边
    香烟倾吐着厌倦
    对话像飞蛾来回转圈
    找不到焦点
  • 爱无味
    人无言
    退不回
    走不远
  • 情绪到冰点
    温柔全被撕成碎片
    假装看不见
    你我心意早时过境迁
  • 不理不睬也不做个交代
    筋疲力尽都不承认失败
    想得复杂却不把话说明白
    放过这次下次还从头再来
  • 爱无味
    人无言
    退不回
    走不远
    理不顺的线
    每个细节都挑起火焰
    画不顺的圆
    无法消解的各执己见
  • 不理不睬也不做个交代
    筋疲力尽都不承认失败
    想得复杂却不把话说明白
    放过这次下次还从头再来
    曾信誓旦旦说的无可替代
    沦落成茶余饭后的暗自感慨
    充满欲望的灵魂不复存在
    腐烂的落花大概不会再开
  • sitting in the frozen time
    eyes are filled with exhaustion
    the script has been rehearsed for a couple of times in mind
    but now there’s no mood for acting
  • moonlight dies at the windows
    cigarettes are talking about the weariness
    dialogues circle back and forth like moth
    can’t find the focus
  • love is tasteless
    people are speechless
    there’s no way back
    there are no roads forward
  • emotions are at the freezing point
    tenderness is torn into pieces
    pretending not to see that
    your heart and mine have already changed throughout time
  • neither paying attention nor making a conclusion
    already drained of energy, still unwilling to admit the failure
    only thinking about things, never chose to talk things thr ough
    letting it go this time only means the exact same things will happen next time
    [sounds: sigh, pour, drink, fingers knock on table or scrub a piece of paper, clock ticking, etc.]
  • those lines that are never straighten up
    every single detail can light the fire
    the circles that are never round
    each sticking to their own opinions that can never be resolved
  • the promise before that there’s nothing to replace this -
    has turned into those secret lament at the free time
    the soul full of desires and hopes is now gone
    those rusty broken flowers are probably never going to bloom again

lunar new year interlude

天长地久 universe (whatever we like)

  • 窗户起雾 热水跳舞
    掀开盖子流下了一串水珠
    倒好辣椒 蘸上酱料
    手忙脚乱不小心弄脏了衣角
    七嘴八舌 聊天没有间隔
    又想说话吃东西又要趁热
    噼里啪啦 嘻嘻哈哈
    和有些人聚会从来都顾不上文雅
  • 路灯很亮 房间很暗
    人都横七竖八地霸占地板
    想得很慢 说得很快
    盯着沙发脑子都转不过来
    情绪很多 故事很少
    谈到动情处忍不住开始拥抱
    心跳很薄 眼泪很厚
    翻来覆去地喊 要天长地久
  • 凌晨街边 红绿灯前
    大家黏黏腻腻走成一道横线
    酒精消解 气氛热烈
    望着星星感叹又是个幸福的夜
    看不到尽头 也不去回首
    只活在当下 没有什么忧愁
    唱蜿蜒曲折 唱悲欢离合
    唱完所有怀念年少时代的歌
  • 石桥中央 悄无声响
    砖块映着快消失的月亮
    风吹着湖面 人行在湖前
    远方的太阳也露出了一点点尖
    轻声细语 小心翼翼
    不敢破坏这世外桃源般的静谧
    时间流逝 记忆静止
    封存了朝阳和放在心底的彼此
  • windows get foggy, hot water dances around
    lifts up the pot lid, a strain of water drops
    pours enough chili paste, dips food in the sauce
    accidentally soils a part of the clothes in a hurry
    everyone talks at once and never stops
    wants to put a word in but also wants to eat when the food is hot
    we laugh and babble
    not much courtesy is needed in a party with these people
  • street lights are bright while the room is dark
    people lie freely all over the floor
    we think too slowly but talk too fast
    staring at the sofa, no one wraps their head around nothing
    the stories are simple but our feelings are complicated
    whenever one gets emotional people start hugging each other
    heartbeats are thin while the tears are thick
    shouting again and again that friendship lasts forever
  • late at night, at the intersection, in front of traffic lights
    everyone walks side by side, shoulders by shoulders
    liquor wears off, but the atmosphere gets even warmer
    we look up at the stars and feel the happiness tonight
    can’t see the end of this road, and never bother thinking back
    only to live in the moment with nothing to worry about
    we sing about twists and turns, partings and reunions in life
    sing every song about our youth
  • in the middle of the stone bridge, it’s quiet around
    bricks reflect the fading moon
    wind blows the water, and people stand in front of the lake
    a tip of the sun in distant slowly reveals itself
    we speak softly and “cautiously”
    in fear of disrupting the serendipity of the Xanadu
    time passes by, memories freeze at the moment -
    sealing up this rising sun and friends we keep in our hearts

来去 on the way (where we are; where we been)

  • 书桌上摆满信笺
    钢笔墨水还印在指尖
    角落被磨破的便签
    小心藏在日记里面
    糖纸上写的心愿
    互相帮忙一一实现
    唱歌逛街开趴聊天
    每个节日都陪在身边
  • 每次分享心情
    总会有真挚回应
    开头两句就已让喉咙哽咽 眼泪决堤
    夜晚安静走廊里
    靠着墙壁谈天说地
    清晨在塑胶草坪
    嬉笑打闹直到响铃
  • 最爱一起跨年
    一起在漫天的飞雪画下姓名抛起雪片
    最想一直相伴
    无论在天涯或海角都有对重逢的期盼
  • 可时间推着我们拼尽全力往前
    交点后的轨道全都瞬息万变
    拥有的失去的想要的挣脱的定义新的终点
    人生已经悄悄翻篇
  • 那年夏天独自离开
    放下所有的温柔依赖
    一切都变得新奇
    突然有了太多惊喜
  • 身边人越来越多
    却越来越觉得寂寞
    没有任何细腻的交往
    没有想归属的地方
  • 沉浸在回忆温习坚固的友谊
    可如今生活的改变让关系不同于从前
    抬头看不到希望 转身看不到月光
    在无尽的黑暗 步步艰难 想逃避想躲闪
  • 操场走了无数圈 悄悄哭了无数遍
    咬着牙藏着忧愁 忘记一切放弃的理由
    逼自己活得忙碌 却时时感到恍惚
    忍不住质疑过往选择的每个交叉路
  • 越脆弱越不想说 过得越久越多困惑
    问题在时间还是地点还是无法解开的心结
    已经告别 自己却还停在书的上一页
    是不是要放开一切才能让烛火不再熄灭
  • envelopes and letters spread all over the desk
    the ink from the pen stains the fingers
    the notepads whose corners are wrinkled are carefully hidden in the diary
    hopes and wishes written on the candy wrapper are secretly fulfilled
    singing karaoke, wandering around, throwing parties, talking and talking
    we always hang out and spend holidays together
  • every time i share my feelings
    i get sincerest reactions and feedbacks
    the first few lines i hear -
    already have me burst into tears
    at quiet nights, we stand against the wall -
    on the hallway and talk about everything
    early in the morning, we joke around -
    on the playground until the class begins
  • love us counting down to the new year together
    drawing our names on the snow field and throwing snowballs at each other
    want to always have these friends by my side
    even we are all over the world, we would expect reunions all the time
  • but time is pushing us to make all-out effort and run forward
    after meeting intersections, life tracks shift from minute to minute
    all the gain, the lost, the wanted, and the freed are defining new ending points
    our lives are quietly turning pages
  • that summer, I left alone -
    without all of my sweet company
    everything becomes novel and interesting
    lots of surprises come along
  • more and more people are around me
    but I start to feel more lonely
    there’s not any authentic interaction
    and there’s nowhere I want to belong
  • immerse myself in the memory and keep thinking back to the “strong” friendships
    but changes in our lives make the relationships a lot different from before
    looking up, there’s no hope; looking back, there’s no light
    in this endless darkness, every step is a struggle; want to escape, want to avoid
  • walking on the playground for countless rounds, crying alone for countless times
    gritting the teeth and hiding the sorrow, forgetting every reason to give up
    forcing myself to live in a busy life, but often feeling empty in mind
    can’t help but start questioning the choices at every life intersections
  • the more vulnerable i am, the less i want to talk
    the longer i live here, the more confused i am about life
    is timing the problem, or the place, or the knot I can never undo?
    although having bade farewell, i am still living in the previous page of the book
    Do I have to let go of everything to stop the candle from burning out?